


Your hoodie is my comfort

by Yougaythen



Category: Ballum, EastEnders
Genre: A small mention of James, Ballum Christmas, Christmas, Fluff, Gen, it does snow in it, its winter related, the one where Ben wears Callums hoodie, with a tiny bit of arguing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27079129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yougaythen/pseuds/Yougaythen
Summary: When Callum leaves for work early Ben needs some comfort so wears Callums grey hoodie for some, when it starts snowing he goes to play with Lexi and a slight argument when Callum returns leads into small confessions of love
Relationships: Ballum - Relationship, ben mitchell - Relationship, callum highway - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Your hoodie is my comfort

**Author's Note:**

> It starts with a short extract of the first time Callum wears it after they first get together, the second part is set in the upcoming winter.

The first time Ben saw Callum in it it had been after a particularly rough night, they stayed out far too late and stumbling home half awake, arms holding each other up until into the flat where clothes were abandoned on the floor for the next day, falling into a slumber where the real world was as far away as possible, arms intertwined around sleepy bodies. 

The next morning Ben awoke before Callum pulling himself out of the warmth of the bed and placing a kiss against Callums head before leaving for the kitchen, pulling out a cup and filling up the kettle, allowing himself to lean against the countertop for a while waiting for the kettle to pop up. Making himself a drink, and pulling down another cup getting one ready for when Callum finally awoke, knowing that although Callum was always up by 7am today was clearly an exception, him always not being so great with the later nights while Ben could be out until the sun was starting to rise and waking up in the mid afternoon Callum saw that as a waste of a day. 

Heading over to the sofa putting on the tv knowing that Callum would want him to wait for them to have breakfast together, he hadn’t really realised what was on the tv, just the typical Saturday morning stuff enough to give a slight background noise to the morning, Callum still at peace with the world. He longed for the mornings that Callum would wake up, and he was able to shift around still in a daze where he’d rest his heavy head against his chest and doze back off for a few more hours, keeping Callum fully in place. 

The creak of the floorboards was enough to let Ben know that Callum was waking up, the gentle sounds of his footsteps and the wardrobe door squeak that they both had promised to fix yet never got round to it, until he was met with the grey hoodied body dressed with oversized joggers, where Ben was up from his seat on the sofa, hands finding their way up under the thick material of the hoodie, lips meeting in a subtle kiss before pulling away ‘that was a nice morning treat’ Ben said pulling away and stepping back to take a full look at the taller “you look incredible, gorgeous even” that playful smile returning to his face, taking the strings and a chunk of what the material would allow into his hands and letting himself kiss at Callums neck this was what they loved, just empty mornings together. 

They spent the rest of the day lazing together, watching films on the tv, and Ben getting his chance to fall against Callums chest before moving to his lap for cuddles where eyes fell shut blanking out the world around him. Callum pulling his fingers through Ben’s hair, Ben holding onto one of the hoodie sleeves where he played with the natural creases. Until afternoon turned to night, where Callum made their evening meal, chatting over how much Ben loved the hoodie and how he wanted it to be his so desperately. 

When later hours came they moved to the bedroom, arms and hands intertwined, Callum falling asleep against a warmed Ben and everything was perfect in their world, especially because of the hoodie and the love that filled the space between them. 

Because wasting days playing with your boyfriend's hoodie seemed like the perfect excuse not to do anything, especially when it brought that perfect kind of comfort with it. 

————

The more Callum wore the hoodie the more Ben fell in love with it, the temptation of wanting to wear it for himself increasing as the days went on, especially the hours Callum was out for hours on shifts or those days when he felt slightly lonely, sometimes shoving it into a backpack and taking it to work with him just the touch of the material enough to provide some comfort. 

But when Callum left for work that morning in the early hours, the instant freeze taking over his space in the bed as the winter months fell, Callum only managing to kiss Ben goodbye before leaving the house, not wanting to wake him up on this particular day. Ben woke up in a slight state, he had no idea why he was suddenly so emotional the redness of his eyes and the thoughts racing in his head only making the tears rising in his eyes more present and in a split decision he so wanted to grab his phone and pull up Callums name and ring him the sudden need to hear his voice again, that far too familiar home screen of them out with Lexi his own little family, yet instead a slight grey met in his clouded eyes, that of Callums hoodie, left abandoned on the chair in the corner of the bedroom, pushing back the duvet cover and bringing it up to his face he inhaled the scent of Callum so prominent on the material, he did it again and again until the material met his skin on his arms, the instant warmth clouding his body, and the way that it hung over his features, Callum had clearly stretched it out over the amount of times he’d worn it, the way it clung around Callum yet was too big around Ben, he slid himself back into bed, wanting to gain a few more hours sleep. 

By the time he woke up it was mid morning, shoving on his glasses turning the room from a blur, the sound of the busying streets below proving too much for him today, any other day he would be out there too keeping himself busy, dropping by family or into work yet today was a sofa day. A day where he’d curl up half asleep waiting for Callum to return to him where he belonged, arms aching to be around his body. 

Switching the lights on under the tree, providing enough light along with the low winter sun to light the flat effectively, they had put the tree up to lexis request the first week of December, them having to pull out all the decorations, her deciding that she wanted to do it immediately after getting home from school before anything else and they wouldn’t lie when they said she loved to cause a mess. Them making the magic happen overnight along with her parts and suddenly the house was festive enough, Christmas presents started to fill the area below the tree yet all Ben longed for for Christmas was Callum, after spending the previous apart he knew this year had to be different, it had to be perfect. 

Small snowflakes fell from the sky outside, the smell of abandoned hot chocolate on the table and the warmth of the heater from across the room, he longed for Callum, checking his phone occasionally waiting for Callum to be on his break knowing that James allowed it slightly early and more than one on longer shifts like the one on that day. 

As the morning progressed towards lunchtime the more the snow fell, the outside a world away from his cosy bubble, he hoped that maybe enough would fall for Callum to be sent home, the only benefit of living a considerable amount of time away from the station, knowing that he would be let home if it snowed enough. 

Turning his attention back to the tv his phone began to ring, Lola’s name flashing up on the screen, pressing the green button he was met with the excited little face of his little girl “daddy its snowing” she exclaimed, eyes and smile as wide as each other “will you and cal take me out to play in it” she asks that same cheeky smile, the same one Ben uses with Callum to get his own way “Cals not home at the moment, he’s out at work I wish he could come play with us too-” “is that his hoodie” she cuts Ben off “-it’s one of those days daddy really misses him baby, he won’t mind. But if mum says you can come play then you can come over and we can have hot chocolate together, see if we can catch some snowflakes because there’s definitely not enough out there to do anything else” he finishes, placing his phone on the table pulling the sleeves down over his hands. “Mummy says I can come with you outside” she bubbles, “better go find a coat then and come over to get you” he says blowing her a kiss and hanging up, heading into the kitchen to put the dishes in the sink, turning off the tv and pulling on one of Callums coats just wanting to be surrounded by him as much as possible.

Heading across the square, snow falling into his messy hair, not bothering to do it earlier that morning, slight flakes falling onto his glasses clouding up his eyes until he’s at the door, Lexi running out of the door straight into his arms, backpack on her arms where Ben picks her up stepping back to steady his footing. Smiles across their face. Hand in hand they walk back towards the middle of the square. 

In his head he was conscious of the time, knowing that Callum should be ringing him soon his break upcoming, or at least he hoped that James was allowing it at the normal time especially since he was in so early, Ben deciding to send him a text, choosing to take a photo with Lexi, telling that he wished he was with them and sliding his phone back away, holding out his hands with Lexi waiting for the snow to settle and melt against the warmth of their skin just like he’d done with his dad when he was younger. 

“Did you and cal have a fight again” Lexi speaks up after a while noticing Ben’s face dropped, his usual smile wiped away. “We didn’t baby, it’s just been a long couple of days without him, cals just really tired when he gets home and out early in the mornings we haven’t had much time together but we will be okay, hopefully he will ring us soon and you will be able to see him too, maybe once he rings and I know when he’s going to be finished we can go pick him up and play out here together” she throws her tiny arms around his body, “you know he’s with us” she smiles, tugging at the grey material under the coat, it falling over his fingers “he loves you so much” she takes him into her arms again, her face falling to match his.  
“You don’t need to be sad baby, me and him we will be okay, daddy just has days where he needs him a bit more than others. And as you grow you will know that more and more” he tells her, sympathetic smile in an attempt to get her happy and excited again. 

In an attempt to push Callum from his mind they drop by the cafe, each having their own hot chocolate and lexi demanding a doughnut, sitting against Ben’s lap, the way she used to when she was a bit smaller, similar to how she sometimes falls asleep against Callums chest. Taking the smallest bites, and little sips of her drink after Ben assured it had gone cold enough not to burn herself. And they chatted all about school, the fact that the Christmas holidays were coming up and how she wanted certain things as presents. 

Yet still nothing from Callum, Ben was certain that any break he would have had was spent alone or with James, not that Ben could change anything, sending him a follow up message to ask if he wanted them to pick him up which to Ben’s disappointment was ignored once again. Lexi sat in front of the tv he took the opportunity to pull the material that was still draped over his body up to his face, inhaling the warmth of Callums scent into his own body where it rested. He couldn’t define the scent by words but more so the fact that the instant it was near him the comfort and freedom it brought, he stayed like that a while, just breathing him in until he calmed himself. Letting his mind realise that Callum wasn’t ignoring him, that the day had probably been really busy and actually he couldn’t change that at all. 

Eventually the click of the door went, lexi jumping up and running out to it, “cal” she exclaimed, dragging him into where Ben was led across the sofa, hoodie sleeves up by his face, hood balanced against his messy hair his face dropped “why didn’t you ring” he says not even bothering to look up at the taller, “I didn’t get a full break Ben, and unless we go outside there’s not much signal to text you, and I really am sorry about it but there was a lot of investigating going on and I wanted to let you know but James wouldn’t allow a break until it was done and then he dropped me home so that I could be home as quickly as possible” he explained, sadness washing his face “as long that’s all” Ben says not wanting to start an argument in front of lexi getting up and heading up the stairs allowing Callum to sit with Lexi until he cleared his mind. “Daddy says he really missed you today that’s why he’s wearing your jumper” she speaks up after a while heading over to sit on his lap “Oh did he, perhaps I should go make it upto him” 

“You okay, we miss you” Callum calls up the stairs, wanting Ben to come down so they can spend time together “lexi wants to go back out to the snow” he says with a smile, not that Ben can see “I’ll be down in a bit” he calls back, once again pulling the material upto his face just needing a few minutes to sort his head.

“I’m sorry” he starts taking Callum into the kitchen away from lexi “I just felt like you were putting work ahead of me and it’s stupid but I really missed you today, when I woke up and you weren’t next to me, not being able to snuggle into you-” he stopped that feeling mirroring that of when he woke up, almost like he could cry, Callum clearly noticing and getting up wrapping his arms around Ben’s fragile body, placing a kiss against his forehead “you know I’ll never stop loving you right” Callum assures “- I saw this on the back of the chair and just suddenly it was on me, the warmth of you around me, fell asleep in it and then just couldn’t take it off. The smell of you was what I needed even if it is a bit big” he pulled at the material around his chest area “you look great” he places a kiss against his lips pushing up his glasses, the softness falling away as the sound of lexi at the door separates them “we going out then or what” she smiles already opening up the door to the outside, flurries falling heavier that perfect layer of white upon the ground. 

They watch her play as the snow falls around her, Christmas music playing in the background where they hold hands across the table, Callum slipping his thumb up under the material of his own hoodie on Ben’s arms. “You know you look great in that, I’d even say handsome babe missed seeing you in your glasses” he smiles, Ben returning it back. “Lex come on it’s time to take you home” Ben tells her knowing that Lola wanted her to have an early night “but daddy we haven’t even built a snowman together yet” she stamps her feet in protest “you know there’s not enough snow out here for that, let’s get you home and maybe when you get up tomorrow there will be loads of snow” he takes hold of her hand, Callums falling into his other taking her back across the square. 

Once back home they sat in the kitchen, Callum cooking their dinner, “you know how much I love you babe-” Callum turns around looking over at Ben “- and how much I love you in my hoodie, the way it’s far too big you look so tiny in it perhaps you should wear it more when you aren’t feeling great” he tells him “you know how much comfort this has given me today, how close I’ve felt to you even though you weren’t here, and I was stupid to think that you didn’t care anymore” he said with a slight smile. The happiness being brought back between them. 

Later that evening they fall together on the sofa, Ben resting his head against Callums chest, his soft heartbeat thumping into his head, hands playing with the material on the sleeves rubbing his fingers gently over the natural bumps and creases.

“I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, ’Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.’” Callum speaks up after a moment of silence “what” Ben questions him head turning slightly until their eyes met “it was in one of Lexis books, I read it to her a couple weeks ago, and I think it was right you know, the snow does love the trees and fields so gently just like I love you so gently, the warmth and the pain, we can get through everything even the toughest winters Ben” “I’ll never stop no matter how tough things get” Ben solidified. 

They eventually fell asleep under the twinkle of the tree lights, tv playing to itself where they drifted off into their own little worlds, snow continued to flutter down in the darkness outside, Callums heartbeat under Ben’s heavy head. 

Because no matter who the hoodie actually belonged to the comfort it brought Ben on tough days was unlike anything else, well anything else except Callum because he brought the most comfort, the way his smile lit the room, Lexis immediate love for him and how no matter what hands joined together in a perfect flush. Because through everything they would always have each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! As always kudos are appreciated


End file.
